John's Prayer

[BCyrus]

Father God, creator of all.  We are merely creatures.  Hear my prayer!  From the ends of time you speak.  You know where we are right now.  You feel our hearts – you touch our spirits – you comfort our confusions.  You guide our frail frames as we wander as strangers in a broken land.  Hope is the strength we crave.  Purpose the reason we breathe.  If not for the blood surely we perish.

Communion is never so bitter than years from your presence.  Validation of failure offers redemption without measure.  The line between what is – what was and what is to be lies in your mercy.  Repentance the lonely key which brings grace – imparts faith.

Surely children you are given promise.  Nothing will ever take you from my plan.  Walk I say.  Lift your eyes and faint not and see the glory of the Lord in the land of the living.

j.

[BCyrus]

Father God,

I’m in a dilemma.  I’m very angry and I don’t want to be angry.  I often think some folks should just be put out of there misery.  People sometimes are mean - dolling out senseless shame, ridicule and accusations designed to hurt.  I have to confess I’ve done my share but I think I’m getting over it.  What are you telling me?

Trust is the corner stone which good will is nurtured.  So, why do I constantly feel my foundation – my identity is being attacked so ruthlessly.  Do I think I deserve this hellish punishment?  Do you think I deserve it?

I need your perspective as to why this is happening to me.  It’s very confusing and strikes at the very core of my being.  I can’t be that special seeing that sooner or later all earthlings get there fair share of this craziness. 
It’s like being stalked by a terrorist and grenades are exploding all around ordinary folks trying to capture a little peace in their hectic everyday routines.  And I’m one of those folks!

Or maybe I’m the paramedic and I’ve just arrived at this explosive human tragedy.  I have to touch myself because I’m in one piece but others are not.  Obviously, it is a chaotic scene and it’s bloody.  Some people are crying and running away while others are screaming at me because I’m supposed to be the hero that takes away all their pain.

But it’s not enough.  It’s never enough.  They’re begging me to go faster and the body count is rising and I can’t save them all.  Finally, I scream at the top of my lungs, “Look’ I’m not God, I’m not that good.  I’m just doing the best I can with what I’ve got to work with.”  I would have liked to report that this familiar statement calmed their fears, but in fact – it actually got worse.

Well, like I was saying in the beginning, I’m very angry and I don’t want to be angry.  So…Father what are you thinking about?  I’d like to know.  I mean, I really gotta know - if you know what I mean.


Maybe this is what it means to be me…being me today with you.

Thank you Father…good night

J.

[BCyrus]

Father God,

Thank you for giving me another day.  Just wanted to touch base and ponder my feelings.  How are you?  Solitude…comfort…rest…far away yet everywhere and in everything including you my son.

Internal injuries are often hard to see.  Healings come from within.  Often in the dark and obscure to the eye is my way.  Even on a cloudy day the sun although present is secretly withheld from natural sight.  There is a subtle sadness within all life when they crave light.  It is part of the natural order reflecting my identity.

I am yours and you are mine.  The enviable reunion is at hand.  I must dismantle the ego of human thought and purpose.  You are spirit as I am spirit – and we shall be one.

Delivering the creature along with creation is not a simple operation.  I must induce labor to jumpstart your delivery.  You could never do it on your own.  It’s a fact you would die in the womb because the birth canal is to…narrow.

You are being born again into a new world.  The contractions are being felt and becoming closer together and that is why you feel torn between two places.  It is bitter and sweet.  You’re most defiantly leaving this world and being birthed to the next.  Call it your certificate of transfer and tell everyone of my high letter of recommendation - I AM…still currently accepting applications for delivery experts.

Good-night

J.

[BCyrus]

Dear Heavenly Father:

It is a battle of spirit and flesh.  How to live in the world but not of this world is the ultimate dance of a lifetime. I thank you for the victory you give through Jesus and continually give to all my blood-born brothers and sisters.  My heart goes out to so many tonight.  Those who are in the mist of being sacrificed for their faith, or simply what they hope – perhaps falling so short to their dreams on this earthly plain.  I feel drawn to them and also share their plight. 

It’s not easy being mortal complete with all our imperfections not to mention inconsistencies.  The critic is always suspicious rather than trusting.  Even the expectations of love ones often create battlegrounds of disillusionment and shame. And yet, we are still encouraged yes commanded to carry this sacred treasure in our earthly fragile frames. 

But, it’s a father’s heart who entrusts this glorious confidence in his offspring - delighted to finish the work in each one of his sons and daughters.  Failure is only defined when one fails to reach forward. 

So if faith is the substance things hoped for and the evidence is not being seen by the world.  You will certainly catch a drift of hostility and anger sooner or later.  Because it flies in their faces, for you will simply never…ever measure up in their eyes.  And at this very moment, as the world turns - that’s just the way it is and you’re gonna be ok.  Ok?

Good night Daddy

J.

[BCyrus]

Dear Heavenly Father,


You know by which way I go. Nothing is hidden from your eyes. I would faint ( die) if I could not see your goodness in the land of the living. Surely we are people most miserable if we only have hope in this life. For our struggles are mutual and our joys are disciplined through your amazing grace.


Shed your frail scales of human skin oh pilgrim and cast yourself upon the tree of life and cripple forever the illusion of self. Pick up the mirror and boldly look into the face of time and realize it's running away in overdrive. Perhaps this is your moment...tic toc – tic toc...maybe your last breath...tic toc – tic toc...options are available.


Your personal reserve of dignity is on empty and your critics are cheering you own. Your mind is reeling - for despair has become food for the gods of reason. Your reputation is shattered beyond recognition and loyal friends are gone. Nothing remains sacred as the spectacle begins. You my friend have become entertainment for the gamers of life and all bets are on.


Awake oh warrior and gather your sword. And think not for a minutes tick all is lost in the final score. Remember your training. Your master promised you the good fight in the beginning would eventually sway in favor the end. So we fight - We must fight not for victims sake but for the countless souls which redeems ourselves. There lies in this life and beyond the next a challenge to forge ahead and finish the race..


Say good night John...Good night Father.

[BCyrus]

Dear Heavenly Father,


I'm stuck between and rock and a hard place. I never really thought about this saying, only in the context of a no win situation. And I reckon if my perspective was only one dimensional, earthly that is, this expression would make perfect sense. But I am going to embrace a new twist on this 'ol sayin.


You are my corner stone in this hard place better known as 'the world'. You made these rocks we find ourselves caught between. Maybe we didn't make the best choices and we're suffering for those decisions believing on a better end. Perhaps we weren't raised right and we've made our parents or others the scapegoat for our failures. Or we're naive in our innocence feeling victimized by mother earth and all her children. You may be reading this and think, “I've raked and scraped for everything I've earned and it's hard to pity all these folks.. If I can make it they should be able too.”

I'm also speaking to that fortunate son or daughter who endure hardships and remains remarkably grateful for their lot in life. The key word is grateful. These people don't run away or give up although they probably at times try or want too. They simply continue where they stand and trust until the stones are rolled away. Our lives are like daily episodes being broadcast toward eternity witnessed by heaven and earth.

So Father you know my desires and how I'm trusting for what you would consider this pebble to be rolled away. I too am incredibly grateful for all those times you made a way where it was no way.


Not my will but your will be done.


Goodnight...


John

[BCyrus]

Heavenly Father,
 
Your glorious light
troubles my soul
 
I feel like a bug
under glass on this
hot desert floor
 
helpless naked...scorched
mistakes and regrets
play over and over
 
hurtful deeds hidden
by the dim
confessions in pain
mourning within
 
response...ability
the players choice
gambling with lies
my own to boot
 
hit me...the cards fall
jokers are wild
the dealer calls
 
the bluffs begin
bodies twitch
subtle expressions
faithless speech
 
on the table
playing with fire
cards are stacked
in a devils lair
 
playing a prince
the master of chance
mentoring recruits
destroyer of paths
 
Father have mercy...
forgive my past
redeem my spirit
let me rest in your arms
 
Good night Father

[BCyrus]

    Dear Heavenly Father,
     
     
    Death cries the cynic
    to a dreamer's fanciful whim.
     
    The human touch is tarnished
    somewhat damaged within.
     
    Speak to me of eloquent words
    while your heart bleeds murder?
     
    Don't talk of ideals
    innocence was... lost
    reality has been purchased.
     
     Death cries the cynic
    but Life sings the song-bird.
     
    Amidst the shattered remains
    of a lone soldiers nightmare
    a flicker of hope still burns.
     
    Goodnight...Son

[BCyrus]

My children,

The night falls
while one recalls
a forgotten day

Oh hapless child
why do your eyes resist
while others lay

Madness comes
so it is said
to those who twiddle
by their bed

Sleep my love...
the watchman is awake

Three candles burn

As shadows move
fairly dancing through the dim
though pale in silent view

Darkness fades...

Selah

[BCyrus]

John... you knows what faith is boy?

Grow'n I am
this I'z believes true

question this here ground?

shoot - just may be good seed
hyd'n in dirt wait'n for birth
this be whats go'n on here... sir

now Im not just a say'n
but I'z been a think'n
and not to mention
a whole heap load of pray'n

that this here ground?

might be right friendly and kind?
since last season I'z was sorta driv'n
into what theys now call
a new farmers edition

reck'n I'z just set a spell I guess

you know.. bask'n the light
of my own tender might...
remember'n always
under each and ever gentle till?
theres a spring'n life!

John...I'z gon'a see you in that garden